For God speaks once, yes twice, yet man perceives it not. Job 33:14
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” – C.S. Lewis
Images swirl through my mind. I want answers from God but my usual pressing in feels dry. The closer I get the less I hear. I don’t hear words. And I’m not sure if I want to see what’s staring me in the face. Life, in my right now world, is like my favorite roller coaster. It’s thrilling and lovely… and scary. I want to raise my arms and scream – allow myself the beautiful abandon of a person of faith but reconsider and play it safe. I’ll stay strapped in and ready myself for a white knuckle ride. This is a season or waiting…of holding on.
As much as I believe there’s a message in all things, right now, I’m struggling to hear him. His words are tangled in a melody that keeps me connected to Him and each day I waken to the same lilting tune. It’s mournful and soft and I know it’s birthed from the cup of tears he’s collected these past few months. He speaks. But I’m not paying attention.
And then something like this will happen….he’ll tell me a story.
I pushed past her to make the connection from the express train. She stood in the door way, immovable. Her back to me, I hopped in the car doing the NYC subway shove. Everyone knows it and its allowed, but I didn’t feel good about it. Especially when I turned around and saw her.
I recognized the familiar golden lion logo of her gently used Anne Klein bag. Resting between the crook of her arm and her wrist the bag hung stiff and uncomfortable – like it wanted to stay away from the dry stub that used to be her right hand. I wanted to hear her story. She wore thrift store designer duds – fashion from years past. Gucci, before Tom Ford and classic vintage Ann Taylor worn with old school Nikes – black of course. She’d pushed her short Afro under a trendy cap and gracefully held her neck high. She looked tired – her face lined with memories, stories of things she may never tell. She’s the new face of homelessness I see in the city. I wanted to hear her story – starting with the two over-sized garbage bags at her feet – everything she probably cared for, and the hand – I wanted to hear about that too. I thought it ironic she stood under a sign advertising a new health insurance plan – “Who Will Care For You?”
No words were exchanged. She shared her story in a moment of eye contact. Our eyes met and I listened. The quiet between us, a powerful word.
Watching her, really seeing her – helped me hear God. He does that. Let’s me experience His presence through a story. He pulls me in with a glance, the glint of gold from a purse. I know everything and nothing about a woman I’ve never met. I hear him.
For now? silence. I’m reminded of the sound of waiting. For sure there are seasons of riotous unrest marked by days, weeks even years of in your face rantings for change…NOW. But sometimes we’re asked to say nothing while waiting. I’m in the queue marked quiet. I’ll be silent.
He speaks…in arrows from a pulpit shot straight at the center of my heart. He speaks in snippets of conversation I hear from my children, the wise word wisdom of friends who love me. He speaks in heart revelation. The inner voice I’ve come to know as Christ’s alone. He speaks in the marsh. He is wind in wildflowers, a blood-red moon. The breeze that carries autumn leaves to the ground.
He speaks in silent confirmation. Let’s call it peace. It’s not likely he’ll offer a marching band, no tumbling cheerleaders or mystical, theatrical experience. If you’re looking for the lighting bolt, where the heavens separate to reveal a legion of angels carrying a scroll bearing your name …well, that probably won’t happen. When I pay attention, the messages he sends are no less powerful. I hear him here… here , here and here. I listen for him in nature, in movement and music. In dreams and visions.
And when I can’t hear him. I set my heart to find hope in His word. It’s a love letter and map. A compass and promise. It tells me He speaks.
He speaks through story….yours, mine…hers.
Today I heard him in this song.
These words from one of my children – “you say you won’t get mad at me mama, but I know you will” – ouch
And this word from Priscilla Shirer
Ground yourself in this…He’s talking. Are you listening?
Let your handmaiden find grace in your sight…#GiveMeGrace
Joining The Nester for the #31Days Writing Challenge
[…] Day 8 – Give Me Grace : Grounding – He Speaks : on Paying Attention […]
I love all the ways He speaks. Sometimes it’s so subtle we can miss it and other times it almost surprises us. Great reflection, Lisha. Thanks for sharing!
Jason Stasyszen recently posted…Sanctuary: the Skies Display
Do they call it God-spotting? He overwhelms with it, whatever you call it. Always right on time provision and so much grace. Thanks for visiting Jason. Always love seeing you here.
I call it Godspotting.
Sheila Seiler Lagrand recently posted…Weekend Reflection: Read
That’s the term I couldn’t think of when writing. I knew I’d heard it somewhere. Yes, so much godspotting going on around here. Happy Tuesday Sheila.
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Yes, me too. You’re not alone. Me too. But I keep leaning, pressing in. Choosing to believe He will speak in ways I cannot faith. So I’ll keep faithing it.
marvia recently posted…A Daughter and Adoption
I love that Marvia “speak in ways I cannot faith”. He does that…all the time. HappySunday!
Lisha…such beauty in Central Park. I saw it once with my neice in the spring. I’d love to see it in the fall. All seasons have their beauty, but it IS hard sometimes to see the beauty in waiting isn’t it. Blessings on you and this time.
Carol Longenecker Hiestand recently posted…Reflecting…
I’m encouraged Carol. Such beauty in his way of speaking…especially when I don’t expect it. Hope you are well.
[…] Gratefully linking up with #GiveMeGrace […]
[…] GIVE ME GRACE […]
Wow, Lisha! I think this is so good. And my verse for today’s #GiveMeGrace?
“Let love be genuine.
Abhor what is evil;
hold fast to what is good.”
Romans 12:9
And your description of the lady on the subway – I was there in May (so wish I could have connected with you) and have been there a little more than half a dozen times and there are images of people in the NYC subway that are scorched into my memory. Such a far away life from my rural 5 acres. What ministry you have there, my friend. xox
Patricia @ Pollywog Creek recently posted…I {LOVE} Sunday::to hold fast to what is good
Message received Patricia – holding fast to what is good. Happy Sunday!
How blessed we are that He still speaks to us. I am listening. I want to listen more. I long to hear his actual voice.
Holly Barrett recently posted…Day 12: You may know the certainty
I think all of it is His actual voice. Perhaps, in the scope of our human understanding it isn’t audible. You’ve got me thinking Holly. I like that. Have. Great day!
Listening for Him right now. Thank you.
Lynne recently posted…Littering in the Comfort of My Own Home
Tuning in with you. I think the perpetual lean in is the place to be. Happy Sunday!
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Powerful, my friend. Sometimes I wonder if we press too hard rather than waiting and watching and letting Him pull us in.
Sandra Heska King recently posted…Scripture Sunday: Marvels
Yes Sandra, that would be my problem. I expect Him to show up when and where I call, those spaces in my life where I;m working hard to hear. I’m learning to listen even and especially when I don’t expect His voice. sometimes its there He speaks the loudest. Hope your daughter is doing well and for you as her caregiver.
Each day I ask my self if I am listening. Am I catching the whispers, the unspoken connections and stories and am I truly listening? In the quiet we can hear God the loudest if we truly listen. Sunday blessings!
Mary Geisen recently posted…Sunday Morning Always Comes-Release
You’re right Mary. I’ve got to let go of my expectations. Time and again he shows me something profound in the middle of my day – when I don’t expect it at all. Hope you’re having a great week.
My favorite post of yours yet Lisha. And so many are just so good. Thank you for your honesty, your passion and your poetic beauty. Priscilla’s word gets me every time. HE IS…so much beyond what we can even comprehend. Beautiful Lisha. Just beautiful.
Jolene Underwood (@Faith_Eyes) recently posted…Don’t throw it away
Don’t you just love her straight forward, super practical style. I just read God Is Able and look forward to reading more. Thanks for words of encouragement Jolene. Blessings friend.
Today I will be reflecting on “paying attention.” What is the currency with which we pay attention?
Sheila Seiler Lagrand recently posted…Weekend Reflection: Read
[…] Heska King’s place for Still Saturday. Then head over to Lisha Epperson’s beautiful place for Give Me Grace. You’ll join us, yes? It’s your very own tranquil retreat. And we saved a place for […]
Oh, my long distance, close to heart friend – I simply love you. Your heart, your skill and your yielded ears. Thank you for words straight from the Throne to me.
Pat Baer recently posted…Thoughts About My Mother and Pierced Ears
Pat, you bless and bless and bless again. Your written nudges of encouragement are healing to my soul, fuel for the fire that burns within. Thanks so much for so freely sharing the love. I appreciate you. We’ve got to connect at a conference this year where I can hug you real good.
[…] Linking with Lisha Epperson and “Give Me Grace” […]
Lisha, I continue to be amazed at the ways & places He speaks to me. I am learning to get quieter, not talk so much & in so doing, I am hearing more. This is a beautiful post & a great reminder with which to start a new week. Thank you!
Joanne Viola recently posted…Day 12: Unbelief is What?
Really Joanne, I’m right with you trying to stay silent. Just an open heart and eyes to see Him working. I practiced it today at an open house for a high school. I kept wanting to ask questions, sort of make myself seen or at least heard but God kept telling me to pull back and watch. I did that and He gave me peace about the high school application process in NYC. He’s so good.Thank you for reading.
Feeling the same way – learning to listen in the quiet, to find his messages he leaves all around! Sometimes, meetings like the ones you describe I’ve found to be a call to prayer – for that person – the Holy Spirit knows intercessions is needed – and who will do it! Blessings to you, friend, this week!
bluecottonmemory recently posted…Shaddai in the Mist
I do the same thing. I whisper a prayer when God calls my attention to someone like that. I know it as a nudge and marvel about the choreography of life that makes such chance connections happen. Have a great week.