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Posts in category nutrition

Food and Family : Figuring it Out {a guest post for Grace Table}

Dec 08, 2014 Leave a Comment ~ Written by lisha epperson
foodgracetable1

photo : grace table

 “It was very pleasant to savor its aroma, for smells have the power to evoke the past, bringing back sounds and even other smells that have no match in the present. -Tita, Like Water for Chocolate

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” – J.R.R Tolkien

I learned to make pancakes as a Girl Scout and remember the smell of liver and onions simmering in my mother’s kitchen. It’s still a favorite, the scent of food prepared with love, a deep childhood memory. That my mother found time to prepare meals every day amazes me now. We never ate out and rarely had company. No take out Chinese or “save the day” pizza. My mother cooked every day. Only as an adult can I understand a little about how hard her life alone with four children must have been. How hard it must have been to make it happen in the kitchen… every day.

So what’s with this passion for food and fellowship. I’m still not quite sure but I guess it was her…in spite of the circumstances she prepared every meal with love. I’m sure I felt that. It was one of the many ways she showed love.

But I didn’t learn to cook at home. I’m a recipe girl through and through. I tweak to make things mine but I know how to follow a recipe. A clear recipe offers a guideline and serves as a foundation for safe exploration. My first cookbook was B. Smith’s Entertaining and Cooking for Friends, purchased in Costco for $15. This book was my food bible. Her recipes, scriptural revelation for the meals I’d prepare for my new husband. In the tiny kitchen of our first apartment I’d cook gourmet soul food by candlelight – thoroughly reading each instruction….chapter and verse. Listening to Sade and Nina Simone I’d lean into the poetry of a perfect dish.

Join me at Grace Table to hear the rest of my culinary journey.

 #GraceTable#food #family #faith

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Posted in christianity, faith, Guest Post, life, parenting, uncategorized - Tagged B. Smith, B. Smith's, family, food, Grace Table, kitchen, mother

Ten Things I’m Into…( June)

Jul 01, 2014 15 Comments ~ Written by lisha epperson
Ten Things I’m Into (June)

1. Spike Lee - This month marks the 25th anniversary of Spike Lee’s “Do The Right Thing.” I took my children to the block party celebration and talked all things Spike lee to them in the days before the event. It was a crash course full of passion on cinematic history for African-Americans, on class and culture, on racism in America, the issues addressed in the film and, current events that make you question how far we’ve come. We watched the first part of When the Levees Broke and grieved over the graphic images of a city seemingly abandoned in the face of a natural disaster. I’m grateful for the talks with my tweens. Their world is and isn’t so different from the world I grew up in. Engaging in adult conversation, with my children, whatever the topic, is a treasure.  ~ read more ~

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Posted in christianity, faith, life, relationships, uncategorized - Tagged Blogging, camping, figure skating, hair braiding, June, leigh kramer, spike lee, ten things I'm into, When Women Were Birds, women

Ballerina Breakdown : thoughts days 16 – 28

Jun 24, 2013 9 Comments ~ Written by lisha epperson
photo: florida ballet

photo: florida ballet

Today is day 28 of the Ballerina Breakdown 30 Day Fitness Covenant and my ultimate realization/revelation is this – 30 days is only the beginning. I’ve begun the process of acceptance and awareness that will keep me fighting for this  part of my day. I’ve struggled to make the powerful nutritional choices that can make a huge difference in my health. I’m on the right path but the road before me is long.  Weight loss was never the end goal…rather, a sweet side effect of a positive reconnection with my body. I was going for a feeling of fitness and I think I’m getting there.

I began this journey to kick-start my attempts at getting fit and it’s been fun. I’ve done soca dance with my tween daughter, a little hi-intensity training with my 12-year-old son and experienced again the lovely feeling of a body physically spent. Sweat is my friend.  30 days is just the beginning.

Days 21-28 were a bust.
After our failed vacation we returned to NYC and tried desperately to get back on track. Between handling the collective disappointment of 4 children, and my own, I found it hard to get back into the groove. I left NY with a jump rope, weights and my iPad, fully intent on making it happen during our time away.  I imagined swimming, walking and a little yoga as natural fillers for my fitness covenant goals.

It didn’t happen. Frustrated but eager to make my vacation time “count” , I put myself on the schedule at the birthing center 2 days last week. I’m a birth assistant trainee there and had been hoping to get my first birth for awhile.  Being available can make that happen.  Well, I got my birth (much more on that later) but I didn’t realize how my body would handle the hours of waiting and working in what I consider a holy environment.   I worked a total of 21 hrs in a 2 day span and needed a full 24 to recover.  The exhilaration and fatigue were a strange  combination that resulted in a foggy natural high. It left me feeling loopy and unable to focus on fitness.

Consistently making time for my 30 minutes has been the challenge. Life happens and I find myself pushing the workout to the end of my to-do  list.  In doing so, I subconsciously devalue it..setting myself up for failure. I have to work to prioritize my health. Although the 2:00 a.m workouts gave me a sense of satisfaction because “I did it” , they may do more harm than good. Going forward I hope to get the workout in before my morning coffee. So here’s the positive spin on my covenant reality – in 30 days, 3/4 of the time I got it right.

I’m hoping to finish strong as my ballet teacher used to say. She’d encourage us to work through the ending of anything with feeling and purpose.  To be intentional and mindful of the energy required to finish.

Fitness has to be intentional. Prayerfully and steadily working toward my goals and loving myself in the NOW is the focus. I love moving and was reminded of my bodies need for physical expression through dance.  Its a love…a passion and I’ve purposed to continue.

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not there yet… but feeling pretty in my NOW!
photo: LiChai Epperson

Have you been successful in prioritizing your fitness goals?  I’d love to hear how you made your #30days count. Leave a comment below.

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Posted in christianity, infertility, life, motherhood, uncategorized - Tagged 30 days, Ballerina breakdown, fitness, health, Self-image, weight loss

Ballerina Breakdown : thoughts days 9 -15

Jun 12, 2013 9 Comments ~ Written by lisha epperson

It had to come to this...I knew the Lord would begin to speak to me about diet. Working the body with exercise causes me to think of it as a wonderfully crafted machine. I begin to seriously consider what I’m consuming and how it relates to the weight loss results I achieve. So we’ve got something to talk about and I’ve got to lay my issues on the line…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

can’t blame carbs alone…just way too much of this good thing

Carbohydrates. Oh, the dreaded and beloved scones, pancakes and baked goods that I’ve become so fond of. My diet has fallen into the standard routine of nourishment by convenience. I eat food that is easy to get to and prepare and if my food isn’t convenient…it’s comforting. My baking habit…exhibit A.

There are changes to make. First the physical activity and now the little alterations that will help accelerate my efforts. My diet and exercise plan working in tandem to bring about a stronger, fit and more focused me. This week I will limit my carbs and focus on vegetables and protein. This works for my body and gives me the energy and clarity of mind I need to function in my daily life as mama of the lovelies. Eliminating meals and severely restricting calories doesn’t work and isn’t wise.

It’s been hard though…I’ve been a little physically disgusted with my body. My stomach gets in the way of movements I try to make. Interfering in my attempts to bend and stretch. My belly feels like another person…a person I have to pardon as I attempt my work out. Always under foot , under way. I know the presence of this gut is a reminder for me to go deeper within. To search my core…my center.. My solid rock. At the center of all this physical is the spiritual and I am feelings the early pains of those first most difficult lessons. The undisciplined life is hard to change and change although good…hurts.

Fat_ballerina_by_Duettographics

“fat ballerina” by Duetto Graphics

Midweek and only because of an upcoming vacation, I found myself trying on a swimsuit. I really wasn’t ready for that. The images are still in my head ( small dolphin ) not sure if it helps or hinders but that day was discouraging. I am staying committed to the exercise but was reminded of how far away I am from any semblance of physical fitness – how much work I have to do.

Yes. I did. I followed that feeling with a bowl of ice cream the next day. My inner chunky girl lapping up the delicious but deadly creamy goodness – because hey – what’s the big deal and everyone makes mistakes. Sigh.

It wasn’t planned, but I didn’t exercise that day. My body was/ is being pushed, reintroduced to a lifestyle of fitness and its sore and working very hard to adjust. A day off was just what I needed to realize the benefits of what I’d been working on. The results are slow in coming but I realize my posture has improved, my center feels a bit stronger (even if that only means I’m more aware of it). My stress level is improved and I’m smiling more. Sowing into myself makes me feel good. Christ created and knit me together to His liking and I’ve got to be okay with that – wherever I fall on the spectrum as relates to my goal on any given day (especially on “baby dolphin” days).

I escaped anorexia and severe body issues as a dancer. Dancing in rather healthy environments and working with dancers of all shapes and sizes saved me from that particular form of crazy. Still, anyone who has spent a lifetime in front of a mirror has some issues. When your body is always being tested and tried to go faster, higher, longer….you develop insecurities and judgements against yourself. You’re proud of what’s going right and the things about your body that help in your dancing but the things that challenge you present an obstacle …something to change, beat into submission…alter. You learn to work with odd feet, minimal turnout and large breasts. But at what cost? How does a young woman develop a truly healthy vision of her body when it doesn’t comply with current standards?

I spent too many years as a dancer in front of a mirror criticizing my imperfections. I rarely acknowledged the acceptable, even beautiful. I didn’t appreciate the me that was designed with a purpose. I am aware that I come to the table with a warped body image that needs healing. My body’s inability to successfully carry life took the skewed relationship I already had with my body and added a dose of dissatisfaction that was horrifying. For awhile, any glimpse of myself was followed by an inner cursing and belittling of the image I saw. I couldn’t stop it. I said it in the last post…infertility messed me up more than all those years in a ballet studio.

so much more to come…stay tuned

I have trailed the brilliance of this woman’s career. Hope Boykin is my vision of a truly healthy and spiritually grounded dancer. Be ministered to by her movements when the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre visits your city.

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Posted in christianity, infertility, life, uncategorized - Tagged Ballerina breakdown, diet, faith, God, health, Self-image, weight loss

Ballerina Breakdown : thoughts (days 3-8)

Jun 03, 2013 14 Comments ~ Written by lisha epperson
bodyimage5

don’t you wish you could see your Dove beauty sketch?
wonder what mine would have looked like while going through infertility…and now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE

I’ve been thinking – about exercise and my body…how it feels like I’m reconnecting with an old friend after a painful separation.  Our distance the result of a tumultuous relationship of disappointment, doubt and insecurity during infertility.  I wasn’t able to keep up a peaceful co-existence and shut down the part of me that loved and cared for my body.

In marriage I learned to cook and enjoy baking. Something about cooking for my husband was thrilling and I got busy in the kitchen.  Major career transition brought about lifestyle changes that for me eliminated all exercise. Deciding to end my dance career was all or nothing. Although I still loved to dance, I spent a mere fraction of the time that I committed to it as a professional. My ballet body was a result of my ballet life. As a dancer, I never dieted or struggled with my weight. The schedule of classes and rehearsal was more than enough to keep me  race horse lean and Pilates perfect.

So I’m happily married, enjoying great food and not exercising.  When infertility became an issue these situations and transitions magnified.  My relationship with my body was called into question and I think somewhere along the way we stopped speaking.  Our lack of communication resulting in a major disconnect between body, soul and spirit.

Can you find me? I joke that I must have eaten the 115lb me!

Can you find me? I joke that I must have eaten the 115lb me!

At the doctor’s office recently I weighed 169 lbs. Over a 17 year period I’ve gained 54 lbs. Marriage, career transition and my battle with infertility – key factors this increase can be attributed to. Of the 3 I’d say infertility played the biggest part in my maintaining the extra weight. The emotional roller coaster was too much for me and resulted in breast and belly weight that I couldn’t/wouldn’t get rid of.

There’s definitely a bit of the psychological at play here.

I danced in ministry and even taught classes but my body’s inability to produce a living child broke something in me.

the heart... the heart  sometimes we dance with a broken heart

the heart… the heart
sometimes we dance with a broken heart

I was going through the motions but I don’t think I could devote energy to care. The mother in me was trying desperately to create soft spaces where children could snuggle and perhaps one day be nourished.  This was definitely on the subliminal….a psychosomatic manifestation of my mind’s eye of a “mother”.

Even becoming a mother plays a role in this story.  I enjoyed cooking for my children even more than I did  my husband. The sweet treats I baked, presented with love to satisfy and substitute for the mother in me that couldn’t nourish children born of another’s body.

I’ve asked the Lord to speak to me during this fitness covenant and this is where I am.  Deep thoughts? Yes! But I can now see why and how this problem initiated.  I am free to make the necessary changes to re-establish a healthy mind-body connection. I can work towards keeping my spirit uplifted so as not to fall prey to negative images or emotions about my fearfully and wonderfully made temple.  I’ve got to know that my body is amazing – irrespective of its reproductive abilities or what it looks like now. *If you’re currently in the thick of it, I pray this revelation, that took me way too long “to get”, is a blessing.*

I have no dreams of sliding into size 6 skinny jeans.  I know I’ll never work that hard again. My days are full of children and housework.  I squeeze in time to teach at an after school program.  I steal time to study for the program at the birthing center. The 30 minutes I am promising myself is a realistic goal.. a standard to help me develop a habit…a number that will help me bring the routine of fitness back into my life.

Quite frankly I’ve enjoyed the curves my ballerina body couldn’t handle. I like feeling voluptuous. I don’t like feeling out of shape and that is where we are now. At present, I am out of shape. Gotta get on that. And so the breakdown for this ballerina continues….

Where are you on your 30 day Fitness Covenant? How has God ministered to you about your health, your body image…your life?

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Posted in christianity, infertility, life, uncategorized - Tagged body image, exercise, health

Ballerina Breakdown : a former dancer gets fit

May 29, 2013 18 Comments ~ Written by lisha epperson
getfit4 (2)

this former dancer needs to get fit!

I need to get back in touch with my body. The extra pounds I’ve held onto, two and a half years after the baby… can no longer be called baby weight.  It’s called bad habits and no exercise. After a back injury in December, I  got into a slump. I haven’t danced, rehearsed …moved and it isn’t normal or healthy. Dancing saved my life when I struggled through infertility. I’m not ready to stop, so I’ve got to get this body going again.  I am beginning to feel the word sedentary creep into its place as an adjective that describes me and I’m frightened.

Words like this mean weight gain, disease, a slow decline into the a lifestyle that breeds more of the same. And I refuse. So…I’m getting my body back. Not any particular size or goal but fit…strong.

I’ve spent the past few months on a steady decline.  Day by day feeling weaker, less motivated, stiff. New aches becoming familiar and me settling in to this new normal.  Over the weekend I saw a photo of myself that looked like me with someone else’s body.  I cringed. How did this happen? As a homeschooling mama of 4, with a part-time teaching and training schedule , there’s little time for exercise.  But I don’t feel like myself without stretching , without strengthening…without being fit and flexible.  I’m missing the benefits of a good old-fashioned sweat. It’s TIME to get serious about refocusing my energies to include keeping ME healthy.

I’ve been a dancer all of my adult life and have studied the benefits of proper nutrition.   I can do this but I’ll need your help.  I need accountability and encouragement.  Starting today I am committing to 30 minutes of exercise every day.  This along with a nutrient rich whole foods diet and a big fat negative on the late night sweets – should get the ball rolling in the right direction. Let’s see what happens in 30 days.  I’ll post weekly check-ins so that you can help me gauge my progress.

getfit3

this would be cute if it was a baby bump shot…but it’s not

This is me… getting it started. It’s never just about numbers…healing is layered and multi-dimensional so I’m believing God will minister to me during this season of introspection. Do you have any fitness goals that you’ve decided to make a priority. Maybe we can work together? Share your story in the comment section below.

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Posted in christianity, infertility, life, motherhood, uncategorized - Tagged baby weight, body, dancing, encouragement, health, weight loss

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lisha epperson

lisha epperson

recipient of grace, lover of family, woman of God. Christian, homeschooling mama of 5, wife of 1. believer in miracles and the promise of redemption. passionate about parenting, adoption, women, nutrition, dance, fashion. a lover of words.....

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