You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Pslam 139:5
As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore. – Psalm 125:2
I called my mother the other day. Nearing the end of my rope, I needed grounding. A familiar voice, my matrix, my mama. I didn’t want to burden her so we talked about everything but what’s been going on with me lately. I avoided all talk of myself by focusing on the adventures of the The Lovelies.
I told her about skating and test prep. Ade’s newest alter ego and Chailah’s ballet class. We talked until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. In an exasperated rush I let go…”I’m tired.” It’s a perfect word to hide behind, suggesting more about the crazy that is parenting in NYC and less about my personal wilderness. She listened and went on to remind me I have exactly what I wanted (her way of saying “quit complaining, ain’t nobody got time for that”).
I had to suck it up…because I wasn’t being honest. For her, saying I’m tired said everything about my physical state and little about my heart – even though that’s where I’m worn the most. Still, I felt better after speaking with her. I felt the familiar I told you so and finger wag delivered with mothers wit and so much grace. I felt the comfort of her love.
And even though I didn’t have the conversation I wanted (I wasn’t ready for that), I got a healthy dose of my mothers love. I got the conversation that grounded me – encouragement to press through another season.
I am a daughter being loved by a mother.
Later that day an old friend called. And I grounded myself in the memory of our close friendship. Life has taken us on different paths and our homeschool schedules haven’t synched in a long while. The late night phone calls – equal parts encouragement and complaining sessions – have all but disappeared.
She asked me how I was doing. And out it came. “I’m tired”. She fished through the usual complaints to see my struggle and lifted my ego with the best kind of endorsement. The only kind she could offer given such limited information. In one fell swoop she blew fresh wind on the dry bones of my motherhood and offered me an opportunity.
This time, a conversation I didn’t expect, but definitely one I needed. Our conversation that day grounded me in friendship. I was reminded of my value and worth in my community. Of how much he loves me though my friends – a holy hand-picked bunch of people who ground me in community.
I am a woman being loved by a friend.
And then I read these words…on a printout from 2004. “But I will give you expression with the pen, says The Lord, to be able to write the things that pertain to the worship of The Lord”. A prophetic word from my former pastor, words I don’t remember. Because back then, if God didn’t have anything to say about my body finally lining up to achieve a successful pregnancy – well, I wasn’t interested. Ten years later, He loves me with a letter. One I hadn’t read, one He saved ( the stack I found it in was on its way to the trash), for such a time as this. He grounded me with the surprise of his blood stained love poured out in black and white.
I am a girl being loved by her God.
Today I’m grounded in a love that extends beyond the arms of my husband and children. I’m caught in the grace of community, held in a love that’s secure. Home is a haven but he’s cast my net of love wide, extending beyond the borders of my home and the handful of city blocks I travel every day. His love seals and saves. It surrounds me. In this, He loves me well.
Let your handmaiden find grace in your sight…#GiveMeGrace
♥
Joining The Nester for the #31Days Writing Challenge
No words really but “thank you”! We are loved by our mommas, our friends and Our Heavenly Father and each one keeps us grounded in love and the reminder of community that at times we so desperately need. Our tired is validated by the all knowing love of Our Father who sees our hearts and sends all we need. Weekend blessings!
Mary Geisen recently posted…Sunday Morning Always Comes-Shine
Basking in the breadth of His big love. Thanks for visiting Mary!
Oh sweet friend, sounds like we’ve been in the same kind of wilderness. I haven’t confessed to my mama either…sounds like we have the same kind of mamas. Hallelujah that we have Jehovah Jireh who provides, Jehovah Rapha who heals both our bodies and our hearts, and Jehovah Shalom who leaves with us His Peace. I love your grounding series, and I am so looking forward to drinking in your presences.
May God continue to bless both your words and your heart.
In His Love,
Chelle
Chelle recently posted…The Three-Word Prayer (what is yours?)
Chelle, this series is all about pouring it out before Him…to remind myself, to help me make sense of a few things I just don’t understand. I’m not happy to hear you’re in the same space but grateful to know we can encourage each other through it. My mother is funny – she tells me off without telling me off. Gotta love her. Looking forward to being with you soon.
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How beautifully God reminds us of His love and His purpose, even using others who don’t really know what we are going through or need. I loved that you found that forgotten word. It seems God wants to get His point across!
Elizabeth Stewart recently posted…Isaiah 45:8…
Every time I think of finding and reading the words on that paper I get chills. I so need that tangible, in your face kind of love right now. So grateful. Hope you are well Elizabeth.
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thank you for this Lisha. I love how God loves us through people. ‘His love seals and saves’. I need that reminder today. ‘seals’ really stops me in my tracks – it’s permanent, it can’t be undone, it is not an action that can be reversed. today I needed to know that.
Yes! his seal is permanent. So happy to rest in that. Happy Sunday Caiobhe! Also can you break down the pronunciation of your name and it’s meaning. I love unique names.
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Lisha, love that you found that word! It made me realize this truth even more so this morning … “So is my word that goes out form my mouth; It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” (Is. 55:11) Blessings!
Joanne Viola recently posted…Day 19: Walk in Truth
It was certainly a surpre, a clear reminder to pay attention and to remember – he’s ALWAYS working. His word is true. Bless you today and always Joanne.
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Oh, my, Lisha – this is so beautiful. Oh, how God loves us through the Body of Christ. Oh, how He loves you and me! Have a beautiful Sunday, my friend.
Patricia @ Pollywog Creek recently posted…I {LOVE} Sunday::to know God cares for me…
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Such beautiful words, Lisha! And a wonderful reminder of all the ways that God’s love is expressed to us.
Holly Barrett recently posted…Day 19: The works of God may be displayed
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I have a green card. with a word of writing encouragement given to me back in the ’80s when I was struggling with infertility and ultimately pregnancy loss.
I don’t have my mama on this earth any more, having lost her three years ago. And still I sometimes weep over that, because now I’m the family matriarch. But to have friends who love and mama me and a God who adores me and my mother’s favorite words, “This, too, shall pass”… those hold me in the hard times.
Much love to you.
Sandra Heska King recently posted…Scripture Sunday: Compelled
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I needed to read these words today. Thank you.
Bless you.
Sheila Seiler Lagrand recently posted…Weekend Reflection: Hungry
Hey, friend. I’m so thankful that in a season of soul-exhaustion, your eyes are open to see Him loving you well. This is beautiful and rich and what He’s forging inside you, in the hidden places, is so substantive. Blessed by your heart, by your love for Him and for us here. <3
Dana Butler recently posted…Day 19: Singing for You Again {The Way You Love}
Lisha, grateful for you, for this offering of your heart and insight. God has given you a community of those who love you, and you are such an integral part of that. You welcome, you encourage, you love. I often find myself, when tears come, saying, “I’m just so tired,” and it rarely has the most to do with the physical. It’s nearly always a state of trying so hard for so long and needing to let go. Love you, friend. Thank you for your lovely hosting here, as always. (And I’m thrilled you found those prophetic words. What encouragement on the journey!) xoxo
Ashley Larkin recently posted…To Live Like A Child Plus A Giveaway of “Playdates with God” by Laura Boggess
Hi Lisha! I wrote to you about a month or so ago to tell you that your writing has always helped me take another step on the journey to motherhood when I feel I can’t take another one. Since that time, I’ve become one in a different way, a foster mom! I have a brother and sister living with me. The girl is 10. She’s strong willed and is defying everything we try to lay out for her. I need some grace. This girl is pushing my buttons. I almost want to give it up. Today, we asked her to write a letter to God letting him know how she feels about all these changes in her life. I want her to run to God. Ultimately, it’s God who can meet those needs. Maybe she’ll become an amazing writer like you someday. : )
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